I know its been awhile and I feel like its going to be that from time to time haha, but at least I do come back! At the moment I am into just hippie things I guess if you want to categorize how I feel? Herbalism is such a great thing to me... I hate taking medicine and things that can harm the body in the long run? You see all these ppl that live out in the country have better health and living long.. I want to live a great life some day so I need to start now in my 20s before its to late!

SooooOooOooo what is up with me? I am still working a lousy job, but the money is decent. I just wish asian ppl in that industry wasnt so rude or judgmental? I honestly can say... I dread going into work with one of my managers, but I try my hardest to do well and be nice to ppl around me bc... Life shouldnt be about putting ppl down or treating them like shit. Treat others the way you want to be treated is what I go by in life and so far... I am doing fine.


Ive been obsessing with growing things or making things with my two hands lately. I love all the plants that Ive collected through the months! Air plants are so neat! But I dont understand why they are so freaking expensive! I went through a succulent phase, but those are actually pretty hard to maintain when you only have one window in your room haha! I wanted to keep it on my makeup table, but ive notice they started to die... Soo pricey too! So I made a little haven in front of my window... I was suppose to build my ikea chair and have a cute set up, but I am such a procrastinator... I have a bed side table that still needs to be assembled and a couple of drawers to make... LOL I honestly  need a man in my life to do those type of things... doing stuff by myself takes FOREVER!!!!


I have been shopping lots lately... Mostly at daiso... WHICH IS A BLESSING THAT THEY FINALLY CAME TO DALLAS!!!!! I went to daiso in seattle and that was like 5 years ago, but I flipped out and bought so much from there! The dallas location is fairly large and have a variety of items to pick from for $1.50 - $3 which is pretty awesome. I need to do a room tour soon just have to sort through this messy room... CRYING


Here is my most recent haul video for last month! If you missed out on it of course haha! Memebox and sephora is bomb as always hehe! I will be back to u in a bit! theres a few videos im working on and I downloaded better video editing stuff so yeah... I will do better with my videos! Thanks for staying with me for so long xoxo

Hello my beautiful soul. I realized that... I have been beating myself up and making things worse than it should be. Struggling to understand things that happen when I should just move on from it. I lost a lot of friends and its normal. People grow apart and do different things, see different people, and do things without you. I think that was the biggest event that happened in my life. I thought being together for 5+ years would hold a  factor into the mix, but its just memories, a good run while it lasted. I was just in a bitter phase and thought like why can't I find someone to stay loyal to me like I am with others? World just doesnt work that way or in ones favor, so I find myself ok with everything now. I am older now and I know what I need to do with my life. I have to be there for myself and just take things as it comes and work on myself which is another hurdle. Loving myself and getting to the place I want.

My long term goals that I will work on:

Be more forgiving and less judgmental. I didnt realize how zero minded I was when it came to certain things. How I would stick my nose up to certain ppl by the way they dress or what the tried to be. I didnt realize how judgmental I was until I worked with such awful ppl. By being different was so hated like I didnt know I was different in others eyes and it woke something up inside me... More compassion or forgiveness? I have no clue. I just didnt want to be zero minded asshole.

I want to love myself. I think this will be the journey that hurts the most and the longest. I have been trying for years, but I always set myself up for failure when things dont go the way I want and the results come in slow. Ive always struggled with my weight and with  relationships. I get lonely sometimes and venture out to find someone to fill that void only to have them make it deeper. I cant love someone when I cant even love myself. I dont see things through when I dont get the results I want and that mind set will never get me anywhere. So I need to stop making excuses and go through with things. It would be so much nicer to find a workout buddy that is close by to be more motivation!

Youtube grind. I have been in it for years and seeing these girls surpass me and have killer travel experiences gets me so riled up! Like I could be living that life! Yet I hold myself up... That pressure of being judged plus my camera settings and video edits are in need of major work... It is hard to be in this type of industry when everyone trying to do the same... Like I want to be different, but all these girls doing the same thing. How can I even compete with that?  I bought all these expensive things to be a guru, but having that self confidence and knowledge of video edits I am lacking in. Hopefully soon I can be better and get the views and youtube life together... That would be a dream come true.

SO goals. be more friendly and get into shape so that I can achieve better things in life! Will try to be more active on here and update you guys better since I have more off days and more time to myself instead of worrying about others.

I know I am so on and off with this whole online hobby thing I have going... Its been a long journey and I still havent hit the living off youtube life style, but hopefully I can one day! Not getting any younger and... All these young girls doing it right and I am here being an old hag trying to keep up with things like... GEEZ! Let a sistah have a break and spill some old lady knowledge with you.
SOOOO with that being said, as many of you guys know I have been going through such an emotional ride these past few years and with age comes with a lot of stress and obstacles and I feel like I put myself into situations I dont want to be in, but somehow it always happens. I have anxiety and I am too nice at times and let people walk all over me its just the way I am and slowly trying to change.


Moving to a new city within Dallas... Further from work... I learned how to be a speed racer these past few months! Living in a gated community with a roomy is actually ok. I was so stressed out about his family and him, but hes ok. I am thankful for the person who told me about it, but we grew apart and not into the same things which is fine. 5 years flushed down the toilet seems to be my thing lately. losing friends is part of life and no point getting sad about it! I wish early in life someone would of told me... Friends come and go like it honestly would of saved me hassle from being depressed about it? I get overly attached and jealous. Not a good combo right? I have such loyalty embedded in me I just wish I had the same in return, but people like me are a dying breed. I am a capricorn after all.

As for youtube... I dont have the confidence in making videos on myself anymore. Just the ware and tare after years of just judgment from online ppl makes me not so keen on sharing my face. I mean so many tutorials out there these days how can I fit into the mix? Its like been there done that type of thing. I just dont know what is the right thing to show. My followers are based on hauls and such these days since... I am a well seasoned shopper haha. ootd seems out of the question since I wear black for work... plus working everyday so its boring? I am not motivated to get dolled up anymore bc of that and going out is just not existent right now. I feel like im such a homebody as I grow older and DATING? Do not get me started... I want this life with kids and stuff, but I loathe dating... Logic in that? I have no idea haha! But back into topic... Every Thursday I will try to upload something or blog. I have a box full of giveaway items and never did the giveaway... So many things to do and my lazy bum just crying about it. Will change that from now on! You guys see the post and I am ready to get out of this slump I am in!


Here is also the video I uploaded today about hair extensions I received from irresistible me and theres a 10% off coupon for my viewers (unless you dont see the ones on the website.) They usually have good deals on their site already, but just incase its not theres 10% for u babe! Use "IrresistiblePhiphi"

I know its been awhile since you've seen little ol me. Moving and the new job has been so stressful to the point where I literally dread the day to come. Not to mention friendships going up in smokes, but that is life. Things are some what coming together and I find myself going shopping a lot more than usual since retail therapy does make me feel better and just being surrounded by pretty things makes the room feel cozy. I honestly dont like the layout of my room, but hopefully I will be able to remove my closet doors and change it up a bit. I think I will be officially done with everything next month, being realistic since its only been a month living here.

Update though, roomate and his parents put a lot of stress on me with the whole finish moving process and I was extremely pissed at how they kept pestering me, like if I knew that was to happen and how they are going to react I wouldnt have agreed to move in. My co worker told me there are a lot cheaper places even closer to my work that I could of done (great... thanks for telling me after I signed the papers) Not to mention my boss is just a total bitch to me. Why everytime I work some where... the boss is either a pervert or a total bitch? my first 3 jobs were great and so family orientated the next few jobs just went downhill like they look down on you and treat you like shit like... man. Living my life of "treat others the way you want to be treated" doesnt seem to work on my end... I am always getting the short end of the stick when it comes to ppl entering my life. I am too nice and I hate it and I feel like any other place I work in this industry will have the same outcome. The higher power... sure does like messing with me.

The progression. I got offered a second day off since its slow at work and so I can do more things to distress myself and work on my room. I also got the chance to rebuild bridges with ppl I lost contact with in the past. Its funny how you channel your energy to ppl who will just end up leaving you anyways and the ones that are good to you come back. Funny how the world works like that. I might possibly have a love interest as well, but I think I am A-sexual? Is that a thing? I love the idea of someone being with me, but then I think about all the times I would prob be annoyed and just want my space... Idk what I am going through... Kind of need to go on a soul searching journey to love me and accept me for the way I am... Bc god knows I have been battling this insecurity most of my life, but I will get there soon.

I feel like I am more spiritual as I get older... I love plants and growing things... and I am obsessed with crystals... I really want to find myself and just be at peace and hopefully that path I am choosing is the right one for me. I want to do more travel/food type of things so hopefully I will sort these out soon for you guys! I know I've been posting a lot of personal stuff on my blog, but its an outlet for my frustrations. I feel like once I get better with handling my time better I will get back into the swing of things! Have a great weekend and be safe! Weather in Texas is crazy right now... I love the rain, but its over kill right now!

Hello my moon and stars. Its been a very long time and I have been so out of it these past few months! My birthday long and went and I have a huge ass haul that I havent used bc I have failed to record it any time soon! Birthday was in jan and its already the end of march... Time flies so quickly now and I have zero time for pleasures of the world. I find myself just working and going home to watch movies... Life of an introvert much? Dating scares the bajeezus out of me! I have horrible anxieties and I didnt realize it till now? At 27 haha! I thought I was bi polar or over dramatic as my use to be friends would call it... Is it like a disease? Is it cure able... This would explain my almost but failed miserably relationships. I need to find peace within myself and love me for me... This journey is so long and tedious, but I know I cannot have the future I want stuck in this sad body that I have and my mind set of the world. My heart hurts so much and my mind is frantic.

I have a new job working with disgusting people. It happens when you work in a large beauty industry... People here talk so much shit on the daily its ridiculous like... Do you? My bosses wife... Has this power trip and instead of making your employees have a nice work atmosphere she gives off this frantic vibe that makes you feel uncomfortable.. She is ocd and a perfectionist... It is hard to work with her or even talk to her! Her husband is chill and I work so much better in that vibe, but its only monday and tuesdays... rest of the week its her... 5 days of crazy. But I make so much more money than my old jobs... Busting my ass and keeping busy. Pretty much my life right now! work lots, pay bills, and go shopping on down time haha and not to mention eating out every night... Not good for the diet and getting pricey! I just get so tired and lazy when I get home! working 10hr shifts takes a toll!

As for my dating scene... I tried dating apps like okcupid, tinder, coffee and bagel and to my surprise theres so many guys willing to talk to me, but I feel like for the wrong reasons... Is it basically a fuck app or nah? They all seem so sweet at first, but I just give off a not interested vibe (anxiety kicks in) in a couple days after and convo falls short. I hate eating with ppl idk? I cant eat in public in general? Fear of ppl judging or something on my face haha like I need to look polished when Im out and about! I have this peacock exterior or vibe? Any time I leave the house I have to look decent. Just the way I am... Maybe the vietnamese blood in me. I am not so materialistic as I use to be, but I cant be coming out the house looking ratchet like thats a nono!

So this is just a little update on me... My lease is ending soon and I have to start packing! I wish to have my own place, but my credit is not all that great so apartments and having strangers come into your place... I hate it, but thats life... I wish I could of stayed young forever and not have to deal with the troubles of an adult. Maybe this is why I love peter pan so much haha that and alice... being in another world without troubles sounds lovely to me! I hope you have a great weekend!  xoxo

This is a personal post and close to the heart I would say? I was reading a very good book on my astrology sign and it was very on point and true... My personality and the things I do is so black and white and sometimes it can be very overwhelming? I get stressed very easily and put myself in situations I shouldnt be in. My sign... I am the hardest credic on myself out of all signs and it does get extremely hard at times. I am the type of person who has been hurt in the past and the infamous "daddy issues" He left when I was young so I turned to like food for comfort, thus me being so pudgy for an asian girl. So I always think the worst in any relationship I've been in or future ones. I just cant handle any more of that mess so Ive been single for quite some time! I told myself this year I will be a better person and keep molding myself into someone who wont be so beaten up by life. I dont think I am very lucky haha I have to work hard for anything I do and keep myself busy to prove to myself I can make it, but that leaves me feeling more alone.

My circle of friends dwindled down to about 2 or 3 people and even that... They are changing and moving to their own styles and such that I should just not even try lol. I was told by a friend to try these dating apps to find new ppl... I do not know why I listen to her when she herself is more introverted and hates ppl LOL! But I did give it a shot and I hated it.. the whole idea of going on dates and stuff just irks me a lot. Even my boss... started to use it which made me even more grossed out like... this fool is married and shit... Smh... But that is where I am at in life right now... Trying to just find someone to just be with since trying to hold onto friends I am not good about. I am bitter and honestly dont give a shit about cutting ppl out either. I think I am at that age where I am just not into shit anymore.

What am I doing to change all this? Trying to be more social and out going, To actually transform into the person I know I have inside. I work with a lot of fake ppl that only opened my eyes even more to the bullshit ppl have in their hearts... Everyone is fake to some extent... Friendship is based on if they enjoy your company or may use you. Simple as that. As of right now I do not enjoy anything, but the fact that I have been hating myself for far too long and being with ppl that only makes it worse. Idk if I am going through quarter life crises... But I do know... I have to keep moving forward and try to be more positive...

With all that being said... I hope you, my precious reader, have a wonderful weekend. I am going to join this fitgirlguide thing where it takes 28 days to transform yourself. There is also a contest as well whoever transforms the best. I want to enter and it to motivate me more.. You can get by in life without being happy with yourself so how can you expect someone else to? or even give you what you want right? It would be great to find others to share this journey with but i will try hard! I will be better...

Hello my baby boooooo thang! Recently I have been into these asian shows that show drastic makeup changes and it made me realize... when they are in relationships and take off their face in front of them... Like how would the response be? Luckily... I am ok without makeup... Just a browless golem with freckles HA. No but srsly... how does one even react... I love this gif bc I can relate.. I hate my forehead, but my friend likes it and thinks its a universal godly trait to have, well back in the day.


I watched this and a lot of chinese one... and I think this is horrible in a way? These girls look alright, but to go on tv and be poked at idk! But I cant stop watching it... I admit I do a lil enhancements here and there on my photos, but it looks like me still these girls look so different! I love watching stuff like this oh my god...


This one I like a lot their makeup is amazing! I really want to learn eye tape and glue... No matter how hard I try it never looks good on my lids...  Is it because I already have crease? I feel like its the crease change and dramatic lashes that can change a female haha! If I was on any of the shows and these dude be acting up like that to me? I would most def kick him. I hate the hosts on these shows like they look any better, but still its interesting to see the makeup styles


Here is mine... I dont really have that much of a difference? I feel really dolled up like I said with lashes and circle lenses! I have been really into lining my lips a bit more than my natural shape? Digging Kylie Jenner's lips! I know its been injected with things,  but hey the color is nice! I havent been doing anything crazy lately with my makeup since I work a lot and have no time... Plus co workers said I look better without it so hahaha I'll take their word for it! I just really despise my freckles... I feel like its cuter on others, but not on me... I wonder if others think this way?


My birthday was last week and I didnt do much? No big dinner no nada just something simple with family... I feel like all the friends I had changed and doing other things and the ones that I was insanly close to are nothing more than backstabbers who are so twisted into thinking I am a faulty person. No. One was so bold to be rude about it trying to make it into a contest that he was superior to me in every way like... no. ok u went to the army ok u going back to school and drive a nice car, but it doesnt give you the right to be an asshole to someone bc I had a fall out with the girl you are so in love with that you side with her for everything. I am the fake one. right. I dont hangout with ppl I dont like so... Idk what fake means to you sir. Bc I vented... In my own social media... I am getting backlash.. for something so small? This isnt high school anymore. To think I actually admired them and respected so much. Its ok to talk shit about each other behind ones back, but not ok for me to vent. Not playing vicitm I am keeping it real. What I have done? didnt compare to the shit you all did so with that being said fuck the fake friends and good riddance. That is all with my little rant haha


But with that being said birthday was nice and presents... Even nicer! Ever since I moved out and lived here for almost a year now? I really do appreciate the small things and family more... I took a lot for granted and I realized  I cannot be sad and dwell on the past like I always do... I move forward, but I am always thinking of the what ifs and all that.. I finally said goodbye to the ex for good and deleted everything... It has been awhile.. and I am just ready for my change to begin. I have started off slow with the meal prepping but going to add workout regimen soon. I need to love myself before I truly love someone else. Anywho... I hope you have a great weekend! Time to hit the sack xoxo

I got a cute package in the mail and low and behold memebox sent me another wonderful box to try out! this one is filled with facial masks and... I love how you can use this and toss away! No fuss no must! I like the simplicity of things and these face mask have a good amount of product in it for your skin and can easily toss away when you done instead of having to rinse and re-apply a moisturizer... I LOVE  SIMPLICITY!!!!!


I hope you guys give them a shot! Website is easy to navigate through and you guys.... instead of waiting monthly for surprise items you might now want... You can actually choose which box to get! YES YOU GET TO CHOOSE WHAT ITEMS YOU WANT!