emoional rollercoaster.... keeping myself busy

by - Tuesday, November 17, 2009

blah... why are break ups so hard... over stupid stuff? really i dont ever ask for much and its sooo much stress for him on his studies to be with me. great.. so im left heart broken sobbing for three days laying around like an almost dead hobo. BLAHHHHHHHHHH! im angry for loving him for so long and to have him give up on me the way he did... but i dont hate him far from it just so horribly sad that im a burden more than something special. to also top it off i have drama at home with parents... grandpa fell down the stairs.... managers quit.... i think from crying so much my throat is extremely raw and i cannot talk... ugh just so many things going on idk if i can take it. i am really unlucky i think... when somethin happy comes my way it disappears sooner or later and yeahh... im not as strong as i would hope to be... T_T

so what do i do now? never hungry anymore, look a hot mess, have super puffy eyes and crooked eye creases... on a brighter side im re-uploading videos, making new videos, more active i suppose? crafts are surprisingly making the day go by much faster ive been doing loads of craft shopping and have many ideas to make my own goodies and sell them sooon~ i made my night stand into a craft corner hehe its really cute and i need to buy more lightings... i look orange in my videos and my room gets so dark~
sat i got to hang out with pretty cyndiiiii! it felt like a first blind date or something hahaha!!! i was like omggg i hope she likes meeee and when we met she was so adorable! and so sweet and funny! so she took me around to all these different asian stores and bakeries omgggg! i had a lot of fun and i cannot wait to do it again! the macaroons looked and taste amazingly good! ive always liked how they looked and never tried to that day hahah it was extremely sweet but it was yum
sorry that the post is short and a bit sad, but im going to try to get over my emotional wreckage and get back into a more hostile working environment that i do enjoy haha! will keep my mind off things if i work a lot.

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