after that went home and slept for a little then cleaned up the whole house... except my room... hahah which needs cleaning! been doing many crafts lately... and i think im getting better at it! cant wait to finish them and sell them for next year hehe im also wearing the candy series in grey? in the circle lens i mean! i also got some other kind with a black ring and natural brown color its my fave for right now! but i left it at cousins house but yeah... i love youtube and all its tutorials hahaha im so deco obsessed now! im going to do my laptop and ipod soon~

thank you guys for the kind words it did help me out... i just thought we would be forever and that he would understand me with our circumstances, but i guess i was too much stress for him and causing him to lose feelings for me... my friend told me that god takes ppl away for reasons... but why is it such an unhappy thing though... im unlucky i think... never happy... so i try to make others happy. sigh~ my whole life i had more bad than good happen to me so im just confused what god has planned for me. if theres even someone else for me and how long will i have to be alone? all these thoughts come into play and idk sometimes... i just want to sleep away all the pain... but i wont im going to try to be a better person and let him go... maybe he will come back im not sure... stress overcomes both of us in the wrong times and ill move on someday... trying :)

so im going to go on project healthy! im going to ignore the critisism of everyone and just do things for myself and maybe ill find happiness on the way im not sure, but im going to eat healthier and cut out sweet drinks! try to fit excersize in my sched, find more time with friends, do more videos... lolololol im so stress on making videos... so many ppl ask for so many things im like x_x its like not good enough waaaaa! ill try lololol i am still trying to do different angles and lighting just bare with me my sweet youtubers. my confidence is at a low so im trying my best. my goal is to feel better about myself and be happy and healthier before the summer! im going to log in a journal of what i eat and what not so this should be interesting! ive been starting to eat oatmeal every morning and well... lol to tell u the truth i havnt been sleeping or eating right for the past couple of weeks... but im going to get back into track. i need to be stronger and yeah stop worrying about what ppl say or him... im going to change change change! ill be on blogger more ill so tryyyy!

hehe writing makes me feel so much better~ i cant find the words sometimes so i keep it in... i regret what i say a lot so i tend to keep quite... so writing though makes me feel happy and relieved~ so update on me.... parents sold our second salon so weve been fixing up the other salon and makin it pretty since its the salon that has been making the money lololol repainted and re-done everything! it looks a lot nicer! i gotten my eyelashes extended?! i done it before, but that was along time ago... its not finished yet ill prob finish tomorow but i love it.... getting to wear false lashes at all times? is a heck yes in my book! i cant wait to show pictures of it soon hehe! and black friday is coming upppp! i so want an ipod or laptop so so so badly! but i need a lot of makeup stuff.... LMAO as u can see my christmas list to myself... on the other side jajaja

i pretty much got sister and brother clothes and i think ill buy other brother mp3 player and parents.... i have no idea... my dad likes track suits.... and my mother... is a hassel... maybe kitchen appliances? ._.




mini haul till friday i guess but i had to get the dior primer... it makes me look refreshed and dewy? i really love it... ill take better pic so u can see it with it on! and ive been loving the bronzer from benefit? u can mix it with the posie tint and it makes this pretty bronzy blush... LOVE IT! urban decay... been loving golds and dark lips for the holiday... plus packaging is super cute!


and a look for work! i think ill duplicate the look for youtube vid. so christmas right? im getting pale lololol! im starting to match my beastly pastey lookin legs yay me! so yeah im loving golds lately... and pink pink lips! and i got my lenses from janie in not too long ago! i freakn love them! so so natural looking! and i also got the candy... series in grey too ill take pics next time with my done lashes! i love janie... even though she got a lot of mess on her hands she is a good seller. i mean i had some pretty bad ones... and its hard ya know when u have so many ppl order i mean there will be mistakes, but they are fixed as soon as they can so calm on now. she is sweet and if ur mean to her ill give... u a stern talking to!!! lololol~

blah... why are break ups so hard... over stupid stuff? really i dont ever ask for much and its sooo much stress for him on his studies to be with me. great.. so im left heart broken sobbing for three days laying around like an almost dead hobo. BLAHHHHHHHHHH! im angry for loving him for so long and to have him give up on me the way he did... but i dont hate him far from it just so horribly sad that im a burden more than something special. to also top it off i have drama at home with parents... grandpa fell down the stairs.... managers quit.... i think from crying so much my throat is extremely raw and i cannot talk... ugh just so many things going on idk if i can take it. i am really unlucky i think... when somethin happy comes my way it disappears sooner or later and yeahh... im not as strong as i would hope to be... T_T

long long awaited haulage and halloween look? LOL i hope everyone's Halloween was splendid! mine was interesting... worked and then went to uncles house for a birthday party to only find out it was over... so i stayed to sample his burgers? hes opening another resturant with high class burgers i supose? for like ten something a meal, but omg... it was so freakn tasty!!!! after that i was going to a friends party and picking up everyone was a hot mess! took forever!!! and then only to find out the birthday girl bounced her party and went bar hoping? wth??? so we went on a long ass drive to only be canceled... but it was nice to see all my old friends haha!

so that was halloween... so funn.. hehe after thatt nothing much? will announce the winners soon just things came up at work... and im barely there with my manager so sit tight! hm hm hmmm salon didnt have power since dad forgot to pay so it was hotttt and bugs and birds kept coming in.... hahaha hot mess! but i managed to get a lot of nail stuff done! and totally forgot my camera at home... and i have no idea where it is so ill just use phone camera sigh~


mom gave me some lash yummyness?!?! omg i was so excitedddd to get it! i cant wait to get long lashes hehe! since mine are so asian and stubby ._.;; and had to get me some phyto in 9 since it has two extra plant extracts in it? omg... ladies my hair is always dry and frizzy, but this stuff makes it so soft i cant help but to play with my hair and touch it all the timee! i def recommend this product! i fell in love with a sample haha and had to get it! the sales lady try to sell a serum with it, but you really dont need that sucker haha just fyi this product is good on its own!


eyeshadow loveeeee! needed some light colors and some pop colors? i love stila barbie smudge pots, but they barely had any! so many awsome shadows! been wanting to try out smashbox too and mufe's loose shadows! cant wait to useeeeeee


wanted to try the cream blush by stila for awhileeee! needed some eyeprimer and mascara... wanted to try brown.. haha i wanted to try many things! primer... i like cant stresss enough how amazing it will make your eyes look! wont crease up on ya, show the true pigments, long lasting, wont look like a raccoon by the end of the day! hehe anddd im pretty much a mascara junkieee always wanting to try many different kinds! since i really love long lashes and jealous of those who have it naturally T_T


ok... i freaked out when i saw the smashbox palettes on sale... holly molly and i snaged both! i love the packaging! so harry potter looking LMAO!!! and i like the high deff powder and the brush! i can refill it with my mufe hd powder bwahaha! heard good things about the concealerrr cant wait to use! i think ill use it later on today when i go out! needed some lip scrub mmmm! i love how its pepperminty!

LMAO! i.... am a makeup junkie DONT JUDGE MEEEEEE! ;D most the things i bought i want to try out or dont have those types of colors! im super excited! im off today so ill make a vid for sure on what im going to sport today hehehe!


sooo did i tell you i love coooking? and i have a big fam... parents always working late so i contribute when i can! i love to experiment, but not my family... eat the same thing weekly? so boringgggg! made coconut rice with chili peppers and garlic, pork, marinated beef with shrimp and squid, egg drop soup, cabbage with egg and peanuts yummmm! my mom didnt really complain muchhh her motto is so funny.... my grandpa told her that even if the food taste like shit you got to make it look good and presentable.... LMAOOOO!!! so when my mom cooks its nice and pretty? so i guess ill do that too! HAhA!

mom is full of amazing lessons and stuff... she doesnt like spicey foods so she use to tell me that if i ate too much of it ill burn a hole in my stomach, my hair will fall out if i dont do this and that... LOOOL! i guess its superstition?? idk?? asians... ;D i tell u i have the fobbest house on the street! mirrors above every door, dad wears crazy voodoo things to prevent evil to get him ummm no umbrellas are allowed in the houseeee, omg when the bird went into the salon everyone had a cow... what is up with birds and bad luck? hit one and oh u done it now! like... 7 yrs of bad luck? bird in the house is a crime... LOOOLOLOLOL the list goes on and onnnnnnnn!

hehe well i hope everyone has a good weekend! i need to go out and deeestress! going to go eat korean with my cousin and maybe do some shopping in the process! afterwards little cousins birthday party! i never have a friday off! visiting friends and fam i cant wait!