now the new years is coming and i feel like its so cliche to say the same resolution every year, but this time im goign to stick with it since the boy i fell in love with isnt the type of person i want to spend my life with and all this financial problem in the world i decided that i need to wake up from the shock and go forward and change for the better! i started a better eating habit and working a lot more to the point where i pass out jajaja! im also getting in some gym time! i know scary... but i kinda love this being hella busy kind of person! makes the day seem a lot shorter hehe! but yeah i hope you wonderful lovlies had a good christmas and got something u wanted! i got some very cute gifts from co workers and family most gave me money which i am not complaining about!!!

hehe like the title said! i went to ross the other day with mom and lets just say we went a little crazy! i never been to ross if that doesnt sound bad idk.. i dont like going into stores that have racks that are jam packed? so i avoid it though im prob missing out on some good sales... im learning! lets just say i went crazy in the house area? there was so many cute things and if u know me by now i collect things for my future home!!! LOL i have boxes filled with bowls and trinkets i just cant wait to get my own place! though i wonder iffff i can find someone who would put up with my pink girly self... or i can just live alone for the rest of my life and have a million cats surrounded by pretty nik naks jajaja! T_T



so at ross my mom bought everyone a big ross bag! it wasl ike 7 bucks each?! hell to the yes! and i got a harajuku bag to put my laptop or anything hehe its hugeee! and they had big bottles of hand soap and omg i love apple stuff... hehe even got hello kitty undies ._. hahaha i dont think ill grow out of hello kitty! if i have a daughter ill spoil her with it! its just so so so darn cute!



but yeah im starting to cook more and i enjoy cooking and baking! did i ever tell u i love vodka sauce and pesto sauce? i made a small meal and the kids and mom didnt complain! i was like in the clouds haha! pesto is so freakn easy! almonds, spinach, cilantro, garlic, and olive oil!? tasted so yummy~ hehe im going to make cream puffs for my co-workers tomorow so they will be fresh on thursday! i am watching martha stewart all the time! she had snoop with her cooking brownies... that fool... cracked me up the whole episode! hes like your lucky i worked at mcdonalds to know how to do this! (LOL!!!) and martha was like ive always wanted to work at a place like that but i would get really bored.... really martha really?? anyways he wanted green brownies and kept telling martha they need a special ingreidient AHAHA lordy... but i have fun ideas for christmas! going to make cookie caskes for the kids!

omg... lets just say i needed that night!!! i was all smiles and giddy! i even bought an outfit just for the night and maybe wear for christmas hehe! i love quest! im like biggest fan i think? way before americas dance crew i love watching them! i sound like those crazy korean fan girls that wait outside the stars house?? AHAHAH! only with quest though hehe ryan and victor are my favorites! victor can sing and ryan can play the piano omg.... ideal guy? funny, super sweet, well dressed, artistic in some kind of way hehe im not picky! ryan though im going to marry one day he just doesnt know!!! lmao omg.


soo the day was super busy! went to mall and picked out an outfit! cuzzo also went with me to pick something out! i thought we were going to like the club or something but it was at my uncles new restaurant? called your way burger right next to his other place called mangos haha! so i was a bit glammed up! well they were fashionably late and i went with others... uncle was already getting drunk that fool... hahah but i love him! took many pictures but i hate my smileee and the dress was too big so my boobage kept coming out???! soooo u can imaging were the eyes were when im having a convo with anyone :D! i thought it was funny how many that were there barely knew them or their names yet all over them? i was like... really??? but i didnt complain i was next to ryan and all of them and i was all smiles! hok and aris such big flirts! all the other boys were dancing and sigh! i didnt want the night to end!

lolol wrote so much! sorry hehe so mac i went and got a palette for my singles that have been adding up and that beige stick thing everyone uses? i jumped on that band wagon i know i knowww! im going to deco my camera today and do a vid on it! in need of a new vid and i shall buy more glitters for holiday looks! like the new template?? i decided to do those watermark thingos since i have ppl thefting my pics... really??? u bought it??? LOLOLOL! i thought it was funny when i heard ppl taking my pics and use it as theirs.... paleaseee u wish u had my swag :D oh yeah im signin up for the mac student thingy so i can get teh discount for being a cosmo student! heck yes! though... i have to wait 8 weeks to get my id thingie... blah!

mmm i wished it snowed, i wished i didnt feel sad all the time, wished i could know why he threw it all away sigh!!! i need to hustle my ass more! my dream is to open my own store or salon in the future~ idk why everyone is making me do a job i deslike? or telling me what to do im just sick of it. im not being a brat i just dont like the paths everyone wants of me... i want to do cosmotology and when i get older i want to open something thats what ive been wanting for such a long time! i work hard i actually enjoy it? LOL the praise and what not! i wish i could have like a craft job that would be amazing! hehe


soooo today went shopping with mother and aunt and bought so much! i love how i have friends in different department stores? so they share discounts with me and my co workers! ITS GREAT! so mom got shopping happy and me?? i dont think i did much damage? i didnt make bonus sooo check was slightly on the sad side T_T woo... shopping with them wore me out... i was so flushed! when i got home i was knocked out.... lolololol my mom always tells me ppl who nap get fat and lazy... i wasnt aloud to nap throughout my life? so i got a bit of a chew out when i went downstairs x_X ahahah so when my friends tell me they nap im always like u bum! hehehe







okie so haul! mmm i finally collected the harajuku perfume! two are the originals and the rest is in winter wear hehe it was only 15 bucks! i had to complete it! my perfume collection is starting to get bigger ;D and kat von d eyeliner i have to say... its the best... i tried the drugstore and it fades hella quick so it is my fave liquid liner for now! and mufe aqua eyes! i also wanted to try the single lashes and i have to say.... its easier to put it on someone else then myself... i think im losing my touch! =0

so just a small haul nothing fancy? hehe im slowly collecting things that was on my wishlist! new layout hehe i still need to edit but html kills me... i wish i knew more instead of doing it the hard way? its getting so so so cold! i want to buy leather jacket? and layer many things together! i love winter hehe christmas is coming up and my brithday! im super excited hehehe

after that went home and slept for a little then cleaned up the whole house... except my room... hahah which needs cleaning! been doing many crafts lately... and i think im getting better at it! cant wait to finish them and sell them for next year hehe im also wearing the candy series in grey? in the circle lens i mean! i also got some other kind with a black ring and natural brown color its my fave for right now! but i left it at cousins house but yeah... i love youtube and all its tutorials hahaha im so deco obsessed now! im going to do my laptop and ipod soon~

thank you guys for the kind words it did help me out... i just thought we would be forever and that he would understand me with our circumstances, but i guess i was too much stress for him and causing him to lose feelings for me... my friend told me that god takes ppl away for reasons... but why is it such an unhappy thing though... im unlucky i think... never happy... so i try to make others happy. sigh~ my whole life i had more bad than good happen to me so im just confused what god has planned for me. if theres even someone else for me and how long will i have to be alone? all these thoughts come into play and idk sometimes... i just want to sleep away all the pain... but i wont im going to try to be a better person and let him go... maybe he will come back im not sure... stress overcomes both of us in the wrong times and ill move on someday... trying :)

so im going to go on project healthy! im going to ignore the critisism of everyone and just do things for myself and maybe ill find happiness on the way im not sure, but im going to eat healthier and cut out sweet drinks! try to fit excersize in my sched, find more time with friends, do more videos... lolololol im so stress on making videos... so many ppl ask for so many things im like x_x its like not good enough waaaaa! ill try lololol i am still trying to do different angles and lighting just bare with me my sweet youtubers. my confidence is at a low so im trying my best. my goal is to feel better about myself and be happy and healthier before the summer! im going to log in a journal of what i eat and what not so this should be interesting! ive been starting to eat oatmeal every morning and well... lol to tell u the truth i havnt been sleeping or eating right for the past couple of weeks... but im going to get back into track. i need to be stronger and yeah stop worrying about what ppl say or him... im going to change change change! ill be on blogger more ill so tryyyy!

hehe writing makes me feel so much better~ i cant find the words sometimes so i keep it in... i regret what i say a lot so i tend to keep quite... so writing though makes me feel happy and relieved~ so update on me.... parents sold our second salon so weve been fixing up the other salon and makin it pretty since its the salon that has been making the money lololol repainted and re-done everything! it looks a lot nicer! i gotten my eyelashes extended?! i done it before, but that was along time ago... its not finished yet ill prob finish tomorow but i love it.... getting to wear false lashes at all times? is a heck yes in my book! i cant wait to show pictures of it soon hehe! and black friday is coming upppp! i so want an ipod or laptop so so so badly! but i need a lot of makeup stuff.... LMAO as u can see my christmas list to myself... on the other side jajaja

i pretty much got sister and brother clothes and i think ill buy other brother mp3 player and parents.... i have no idea... my dad likes track suits.... and my mother... is a hassel... maybe kitchen appliances? ._.




mini haul till friday i guess but i had to get the dior primer... it makes me look refreshed and dewy? i really love it... ill take better pic so u can see it with it on! and ive been loving the bronzer from benefit? u can mix it with the posie tint and it makes this pretty bronzy blush... LOVE IT! urban decay... been loving golds and dark lips for the holiday... plus packaging is super cute!


and a look for work! i think ill duplicate the look for youtube vid. so christmas right? im getting pale lololol! im starting to match my beastly pastey lookin legs yay me! so yeah im loving golds lately... and pink pink lips! and i got my lenses from janie in not too long ago! i freakn love them! so so natural looking! and i also got the candy... series in grey too ill take pics next time with my done lashes! i love janie... even though she got a lot of mess on her hands she is a good seller. i mean i had some pretty bad ones... and its hard ya know when u have so many ppl order i mean there will be mistakes, but they are fixed as soon as they can so calm on now. she is sweet and if ur mean to her ill give... u a stern talking to!!! lololol~

blah... why are break ups so hard... over stupid stuff? really i dont ever ask for much and its sooo much stress for him on his studies to be with me. great.. so im left heart broken sobbing for three days laying around like an almost dead hobo. BLAHHHHHHHHHH! im angry for loving him for so long and to have him give up on me the way he did... but i dont hate him far from it just so horribly sad that im a burden more than something special. to also top it off i have drama at home with parents... grandpa fell down the stairs.... managers quit.... i think from crying so much my throat is extremely raw and i cannot talk... ugh just so many things going on idk if i can take it. i am really unlucky i think... when somethin happy comes my way it disappears sooner or later and yeahh... im not as strong as i would hope to be... T_T

long long awaited haulage and halloween look? LOL i hope everyone's Halloween was splendid! mine was interesting... worked and then went to uncles house for a birthday party to only find out it was over... so i stayed to sample his burgers? hes opening another resturant with high class burgers i supose? for like ten something a meal, but omg... it was so freakn tasty!!!! after that i was going to a friends party and picking up everyone was a hot mess! took forever!!! and then only to find out the birthday girl bounced her party and went bar hoping? wth??? so we went on a long ass drive to only be canceled... but it was nice to see all my old friends haha!

so that was halloween... so funn.. hehe after thatt nothing much? will announce the winners soon just things came up at work... and im barely there with my manager so sit tight! hm hm hmmm salon didnt have power since dad forgot to pay so it was hotttt and bugs and birds kept coming in.... hahaha hot mess! but i managed to get a lot of nail stuff done! and totally forgot my camera at home... and i have no idea where it is so ill just use phone camera sigh~


mom gave me some lash yummyness?!?! omg i was so excitedddd to get it! i cant wait to get long lashes hehe! since mine are so asian and stubby ._.;; and had to get me some phyto in 9 since it has two extra plant extracts in it? omg... ladies my hair is always dry and frizzy, but this stuff makes it so soft i cant help but to play with my hair and touch it all the timee! i def recommend this product! i fell in love with a sample haha and had to get it! the sales lady try to sell a serum with it, but you really dont need that sucker haha just fyi this product is good on its own!


eyeshadow loveeeee! needed some light colors and some pop colors? i love stila barbie smudge pots, but they barely had any! so many awsome shadows! been wanting to try out smashbox too and mufe's loose shadows! cant wait to useeeeeee


wanted to try the cream blush by stila for awhileeee! needed some eyeprimer and mascara... wanted to try brown.. haha i wanted to try many things! primer... i like cant stresss enough how amazing it will make your eyes look! wont crease up on ya, show the true pigments, long lasting, wont look like a raccoon by the end of the day! hehe anddd im pretty much a mascara junkieee always wanting to try many different kinds! since i really love long lashes and jealous of those who have it naturally T_T


ok... i freaked out when i saw the smashbox palettes on sale... holly molly and i snaged both! i love the packaging! so harry potter looking LMAO!!! and i like the high deff powder and the brush! i can refill it with my mufe hd powder bwahaha! heard good things about the concealerrr cant wait to use! i think ill use it later on today when i go out! needed some lip scrub mmmm! i love how its pepperminty!

LMAO! i.... am a makeup junkie DONT JUDGE MEEEEEE! ;D most the things i bought i want to try out or dont have those types of colors! im super excited! im off today so ill make a vid for sure on what im going to sport today hehehe!


sooo did i tell you i love coooking? and i have a big fam... parents always working late so i contribute when i can! i love to experiment, but not my family... eat the same thing weekly? so boringgggg! made coconut rice with chili peppers and garlic, pork, marinated beef with shrimp and squid, egg drop soup, cabbage with egg and peanuts yummmm! my mom didnt really complain muchhh her motto is so funny.... my grandpa told her that even if the food taste like shit you got to make it look good and presentable.... LMAOOOO!!! so when my mom cooks its nice and pretty? so i guess ill do that too! HAhA!

mom is full of amazing lessons and stuff... she doesnt like spicey foods so she use to tell me that if i ate too much of it ill burn a hole in my stomach, my hair will fall out if i dont do this and that... LOOOL! i guess its superstition?? idk?? asians... ;D i tell u i have the fobbest house on the street! mirrors above every door, dad wears crazy voodoo things to prevent evil to get him ummm no umbrellas are allowed in the houseeee, omg when the bird went into the salon everyone had a cow... what is up with birds and bad luck? hit one and oh u done it now! like... 7 yrs of bad luck? bird in the house is a crime... LOOOLOLOLOL the list goes on and onnnnnnnn!

hehe well i hope everyone has a good weekend! i need to go out and deeestress! going to go eat korean with my cousin and maybe do some shopping in the process! afterwards little cousins birthday party! i never have a friday off! visiting friends and fam i cant wait!

so whats up with me... i went to vegas couple of weeks ago? i love vegas! the strip is so beautiful and so many different cultures! like a neon lighted melting pot with thousands of flavors???! hahah! i got to see justin timberlake concert for a children hospital fund and omg... so many singers! ciara, tlc, snoop dog, taylor swift, alicia keys, timberland just some that i remebered... i was in amazment! there was some pretty crazy girls around us and this one gay guy who gave his girl buddies crazy lap dances that made me kinda shiver... it wasnt sexy at all the way he looked... was like a worm on a hook! and the girls around us... a hot mess. really? u look like u could be my moms age XDDDDD!!!! not being mean... if u were there u would see what im talkin about ;D but i had fun! my fave performance was ciara and tlc, though they did lip sinc it was amazing to see them live~

anywhooo~ i colored my hair back to black! i was like 0_0 of the results? LOL i was like omgah it is way toooo black! i guess i was just too use to the blonde hehe, but it will have to do! i will have an easier time to maintain my oh so precious hair! LOL!


so haulage collected in a time period since... the 5th i supose? LOL clinique was in gift so i really liked the big apple bag! im sucha sucker for cute packaging!!!! i bought some green primer, makeup remover, and a blush bronzer stick.


omg i went to a hong kong market in dallas that was huge! i wish i remembered what it was called and where it was... with the fam and ate dim sum sooo yeah! the gift store carried bb creams and pj!!!!!!!!!!!! i was like HOLLYYYY MOLLYYYY! but decided to just get the bb cream for now lool! the sales lady was like... its so popular on youtube! and i laughed a little ;D i think cutie mel did a review on this? or that was what i was thinkin so i bought it lool! i think its a bit light? and sooo i guess no spray tan lool! but i really like this stuff! skin doesnt look as dry!


ok so sephora i had to get the ll pallete! she is like inspiration! its the green palette and i have to say the colors are amazing in this pallete! though i wasnt too crazy of the others... but this was a good bingo!!! and and and ysl got a new fragrance and i fell in loveeeee it was like 39? i think before tax and omg... smells devine! im not really a big fan on the older ones? LOL but this one smells so yummy! rosey and pretty~ got some... concealer i forgot what its called... too lazy to get up... but u can wear this when u go to sleep? so... sometimes i have crazy dark circles from my sleepless night and dont want to scare certain someone ._.!!!! andd got some dna lash for 9 bucks... what did i tell u? i freakn love the sweet steal they have!!! i bought some for aunts and moether :D always looking out haha!


sooo secret? ive always wanted to make deco stuff and have my very own shop filled with cute things! how awsome is that? but like me... of course i never find things the easy way? always doing things the hard way... i dont know how to sew or any of that stuff... i like easy stuff.... mmm... so i just buy pieces and parts! im thinking about opening a booth at anime convention and sell my cute creations! that has been a goal for me for awhile? so ima buy me a little sewing machine and try to make so me cute crafts! im a painter... and a doodler... so other things are pretty hard? LOL